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Connections and Coffee

Shake a Tailfeather: Five Workplace Victory Dances to Celebrate an Award

Professional football players have the market cornered on victory celebrations. They’ve turned elaborate endzone dances into such a cottage industry that you’d think the majority of the preseason schedule is dedicated to studying Bob Fosse choreography film. Yet you, too, can make your own mark of distinction with these five victory dances to celebrate a workplace award or achievement … if you dare. 

The Dab 

Like having to see your neighbor’s Christmas decorations on the lawn in mid-July, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. We may be on the cusp of that point when it comes to Dabbing. The dance move itself is easy and, at one point, seemed fresh and funny, but it might be a bit played out. As with any dance being performed in a workplace, if your 47-year-old co-worker is doing it unironically, it’s likely that the move has been past its prime by a good 36 months. Please stop, Darcy.  

The Cabbage Patch 

The 1980s are memorable for many things: bad hair, bad fashion, bad music, bad TV and a ubiquitous dance that even your Great-Aunt Hildy could do known as The Cabbage Patch. Now that the Aqua Net hole in the ozone is nearly fixed and everything horribly ’80s is kitschy again, The Cabbage Patch is back to make everyone who lived through the decade say, “Wake me up before you … oh no!” Yet, if you think you can pull it off, go for it. No, stand down, Darcy.  

The Sprinkler 

Ah, yes … The Sprinkler — the only known dance associated with those two hippest of subjects that all the kids are raving about: lawn maintenance and garden irrigation. If you see a colleague doing The Sprinkler, it’s likely he is envisioning himself having the collar on his polo shirt popped while drinking Zima at the club. For workplaces located in arid climates, there may be restrictions on doing The Sprinkler to off-peak hours or every other day. 

The Worm 

This one is so rare that it is considered the Holy Grail of office dance moves. A sighting of The Worm in an office setting — outside of a work-centered party where copious amounts of libations are available at an open bar (because no one is going to remember it anyway) — is like finding a unicorn in the wild. Anyone who performs this in the office becomes an instant legend. Do it on top of the conference table in the middle of a meeting, and you become a god.  

The Perp Walk 

The best part about this dance move is that it requires little effort from you. You just have to place your arms behind your back for easy placement of the handcuffs, then let security escort you out of the building for performing any of the previous dance moves in the office. Bonus if any co-worker rings a bell while announcing, “Shame!” as you make your forced exit. Best of luck to you in your next endeavor, Darcy! 

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